|
What if tomorrow
did not exist?
When we divest ourselves of magical thinking and let go of ideas of supernatural
beings, we also release the idea of ourselves as a soul or supernatural being.
While recognizing our talents and intelligence as humans, we also realize
that we are natural animals within the matrix of the phenomena of life on
this planet. If we are to progress in our thinking beyond the illusions of
religious myth, we must at some point come to terms with the idea of our own
total death.
Although disturbing, this is a necessary and healthy contemplation, as it
focusses us very firmly on the immediate process of living our lives with
as much energy, creativity, and accomplishment as we can muster.
It is easy to say these things, but I did not truly understand them until
I experienced an almost visceral shock while walking past the place where
I work not long ago. Training my mind to think in non-magical, limited-life
ways seemed fairly easy, and as I came to and fro from my windowless
office each day, I would try to consciously smell the roses as
I passed the nicely landscaped exterior. I would think to myself, This
beauty is real and it is in existence right now, at this moment. Dont
take it for granted.
It must have been after doing this for a few days that my subconscious mind,
that little scared boy inside my cognitive mind, finally got it
about the importance of the present moment. Immediately, a surprising shock
went right through me and I had to stop and wait a moment for it to pass.
It was not a shock of fear. Rather, it seemed as though some kind of new concept
or true understanding was just about to appear. This happened several times
over the next several days, and I began to wonder why I was having this particular,
jolting reaction. I decided to study the matter and try to pin down the idea
that seemed just out of reach.
Weve all heard the now cliche phrase, carpe diem or seize
the day, and although it is certainly one of the best statements of
philosophy to have become a cliche, it only goes so far. It is a simple injunction
to do something about our limited time, but it doesnt go any deeper
than the shoe companys motto of just do it. The idea that
I was grasping for was richer and more penetrating than just seize the
day.
I recently read an account of a well-known man of my community who, in his
late 80s and in obviously failing health, still took a daily walk with
a young friend. This friend was amazed that the older man did not seem to
be interested in trying to squeeze more and more experiences and accomplishments
into his limited final days of life. Instead, he was interested in going slower
and trying to do fewer things. Each morning he would tell his friend to Behold
this day! I believe this man had grasped something very important -
something we all need to learn if we are to live our lives fully.
What was important was not even the beholding or seizing of the day, as such,
but rather the awareness he had of the powerful value and singular importance
of each moment as it occurred. He had learned to extract himself from the
stream of clock time and look at each moment as it happened as if it were
the only moment ever to have happened.
Our natural focus seems always trained a few steps, hours, or minutes ahead
of where and when we are. This is logical - a preservation instinct strongly
embedded in our animal psyche. If I am not paranoid about what is coming
at me next, I might be harmed. This is such habit, that it causes an
unfortunate side effect. In our forward focus, we tend to minimize the importance
of what we are doing in the present moment - even forget about the present
moment as we train our minds on the next step or the next
thing. This has the effect of making the present moment seem mundane,
something to shrug off as unimportant. After all, we took care of the present
moment a moment ago when it was the future next step! That next step seems
so important that we forget to purposefully watch ourselves as we take the
step right under our feet.
The remarkable thing, however, is that the step under our toes - the present
moment - is not only not mundane, it is the only moment that even exists.
We all think about the future and the past. Those times and the contemplation
of them determine who we are and who we are going to become. I still plan
my retirement and next years vacation, and I plan to live to be 100,
science and nature willing. In discussing the importance and nature of the
present moment, I dont wish to minimize the importance of thinking about
the future (in particular). The thing we must realize, however, is that even
our planning for the future occurs in the present moment. It is a live
activity. Whether we are planning our retirement package or where we are going
to have lunch, we do so in the present moment. This moment, then, becomes
an eternal moment.
The person I was before this moment no longer exists. After this moment, I
do not exist. Each moment is our only moment, and each moment is our last
moment. Thus, all the import of our lives is focussed on right now. Whenever
I truly get this, it sends an almost visceral charge or shock
through me. This is how the old and dying man could release the need to accomplish
and do and get things during his last weeks and days. He could simply and
very deeply exclaim, Behold this day! and live within that very
moment as a complete and accomplished being.
I once saw an animation of a view from space of the Earth that quickly zoomed
down through the atmosphere toward a continent and then down through clouds
to a terrain, and so down to an individual cityscape and finally down to an
individual man laying on the grass of a meadow. In leaving the mythical concepts
of Christianity behind me, this is the kind of zoom-in focus Ive experienced.
Leaving the idea of eternal life and vast stretches of time available to me,
I have zoomed in to a view that is the scale of my own physical life. At first,
I thought this was stark enough and I expected my understanding of time to
settle at that scale - one human lifetime.
I think the surprising shock I felt when walking to work was the shock of
yet another level of zoom-in. The scale just got reset once again. This time,
it was to the present moment itself, and only that moment. Eternity
- to one human lifetime - to right now. A breathtaking and shocking ride,
but a healthy one and one that provided the understanding I needed to replace
the solace of an eternal life, a comfort now lost.
In a way, I feel like I have regained eternal life in a philosophical manner.
I know that I shall not always live in my physical life, but I also understand
that the present moment is always here - is itself eternal. I can behold that
moment and all that is in it for as long as I am alive, and I can take great
joy and comfort in using the power of the present moment to learn and create
and love and serve.
Lest it be said we are playing unfair games with words like eternal, I would
say that the important thing here is not definitions, but attitudes and understandings.
The dying man knew he was dying. We all must still plan for our future life.
We can do all things better, though, if we live in each moment understanding
that that is all we really have to grasp. We will live our lives with much
more effectiveness and power if we shift our values to the present moment
and not allow our instincts to trivialize or ignore it. Religion trains us
to focus our eyes and our hearts afar on the eternal life ahead. Rationalism
and nature compel us to focus on ourselves in place in time - right now.
I once camped in the desert, unknowingly only a few hundred yards away from
a den of coyotes. They were completely silent during the day and night, but
just before dawn, a surprisingly loud chorus of howling erupted for a few
minutes, then settled back to silence. I think they were acknowledging or
even greeting the dawn. The experience of hearing them so close made a lasting
impression, and I often think that we would all be better off if we could
focus our attention so completely on our present moment the way the coyotes
do. We should all sing out at every moment, The night has passed. The
dawn is here and we are alive!
|